This boy and this girl made me cry! How come I can't have that?! :*(?

21 year old male here. I have never had a boyfriend before. I am 5'8, 136 and don't think I am ugly or anything, but I have always just had trouble finding a guy. I remember how I always was jealous of those boys and girls in school who hold hands while walking down the halls together. I always wanted that, but I realized I would never really get it since I'm gay. Anyway, I always looked forward through school but never had success finding anyone. Anyway, I always reminisce on how terrible school went. Never a prom; that special dance; or that special kiss with a guy. Just lonely teenage years. Anyway, I've done a good job not thinking about it that is until today when I saw this young 15 year old boy and girl walking down the street holding hands together. It was so cute. :*( something I will never have!